My Dysfunctional Animals

Our family currently has 2 dogs and 2 cats. Each one of these animals have some kind of psychological issue. I'll explain. We have a 10 year old female toy poodle named Belle. Every time I go to feed her she barks and growls at me. An axe murderer can come through the front door and start hacking us all to bits and she wouldn't do a thing, but when I try to feed her she acts like a pit bull. Go figure. We have a 5 year old cat named Leo. She is the most loving cat in the world. She likes to pull out her hair in huge clumps. The vet said it was stress. What stress? She's a cat! Then there's Josie, our other cat. She's 2 years old. She can't make up her mind. She meows to go outside and I let her out. 2 minutes later she's scratching to come in. 2 minutes after that she's meowing to go out. This could go on all day if I allow it. And then there's Callie, our 1 year FEMALE Brittany Spaniel. She's a maniac, plain and simple. She's a bird dog by nature, but she'd rather hunt lizards and frogs. One day when I was walking her, there were some cranes on our lawn. No reaction. 2 seconds later I'm being dragged down the sidewalk because a tiny lizard was scurrying about. This nut job also likes to hump the poodle and my six year old daughter. She's a female for pete's sake! Look, I know they have small brains and all, but doesn't anyone think it's a little peculiar? I do.